The Shadow Guard grows rapidly. Part of me fears for them. Mernac's futures, all of them, look so grim. I have currently withdrawn from my Guards for a brief moment to feel this pain alone. I cannot let them know the sheer depths my fear run, especially Arleas. She's a wonderful Disciple, but a bit headstrong. With our close connection she would feel everything, and I want to protect her from that.
Naysia, also a headstrong young lady, possesses so much passion, so much anger. I'm not sure where it comes from. Surely, her training in Elsen's temple could not have been that thorough, could it? I knew all once, but that was long ago. I'm not sure how best to help her. She hesitated before joining, and I felt it. The battle within her ran deep. I have not felt such inner conflict since the Fathers made their decisions in 666, or if I had, I had also forgotten.
Kataryna Vaelryn could move mountains with a smile, yet there are fragile parts of her, places she keeps locked from all, even herself. Her beauty and natural charm serve her well, but they also hold her back. She knows her strengths, so she uses them, sometimes overmuch. She also hesitates to forgive herself. I've not yet spoken with her on these matters, but a time will come soon when she faces herself fully.
Ember tor'Ravenwing has a wonderfully refreshing directness about her. She hides her fragile pieces well. I can feel her every worry when I tune in to her thoughts, but her inner strength and resilience astounds me.
Shanyaks, probably the most troubled of my young Guards, always wishes to be better than his past. Sometimes, I think he tries to apologize for his entire Race of Orcs, yet the world will have none of it. Tis true that sometimes the blackest, coldest hearts come from the Races of Light. I wish I could fight all his battles for him, but Shanyaks needs those struggles to learn survival.
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